Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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