Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
