I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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