Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
