On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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