Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
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