dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
