you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize