I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
