2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
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You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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