I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize