ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
