I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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