New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
