Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Randomize
