he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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