I think my fart just growled at me.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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