True but thats because hes a fetus.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
