I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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