Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
