She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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