all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
