The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Who died my cat blue again?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
