the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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