how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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