your room smells of hookers.
And success
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
