Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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