Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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