Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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