I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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