Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize