chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
