the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize