Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Randomize
