I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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