carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
