"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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