Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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