Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
not ubering you a puppy
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
