I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
