yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
