why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
