it was like his penis was on wheels.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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