Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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