Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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