Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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