in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
