Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
