Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
