Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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