i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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