My underwear smells like fireworks.
only if we run a train.
done.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
