I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
