he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
