im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
