ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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