Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Randomize
