I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
