i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
