Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
