I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
